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The thing under the porch

So Deb is down at the farm. She was too sick yesterday to take the train back. I'll explain why in a bit. So she calls me at work and asks:

"What kind of critter sounds like a bear and would be shuffling around under the front porch?"

To which I say, "I don't know, a bear perhaps. You know a little short one. Or a tiny cougar or maybe a rabid raccoon or even a wildebeast. They sound like bears don't they? Why don't you stick your head under the porch and see what happens?"

And she says, "I'm really not thinking you are such a nice person right now!"

For the record, the most fearsome critter I've ever seen under the front porch was a ground hog.

W

Comments

( 26 comments — Leave a comment )
ryl
Apr. 15th, 2008 10:28 pm (UTC)
I say possum. Those things sound like a drunk elephant crashing around the woods.
wander
Apr. 15th, 2008 10:34 pm (UTC)
Unfortunately I won't get back down there until the weekend to find out. and by then it will be gone. But I think so too.

W
ryl
Apr. 15th, 2008 10:43 pm (UTC)
You hope it will be gone. Maybe it was building a nest under there!
wander
Apr. 15th, 2008 10:44 pm (UTC)
Long as it stays under there and doesn't come in the house, I'm fine with it.

W
ryl
Apr. 15th, 2008 10:51 pm (UTC)
What if it wants to come up to the porch? You know, have a beer, watch the sun set, that kind of thing?
wander
Apr. 16th, 2008 12:04 am (UTC)
I'm cool with that too. we welcome all guests at Wander's Farm.

W
sextanika
Apr. 15th, 2008 11:16 pm (UTC)
heeheehee pooooor deb!
wander
Apr. 16th, 2008 12:06 am (UTC)
On the way to the train station tonight, she had to swerve to avoid a big pothole and someone behind her called the state police and reported her as driving drunk. She almost didn't make her train. I have to go pick her up in awhile. This should be a fun night.

W
redsgoddes
Apr. 16th, 2008 12:24 am (UTC)
"The thing under the porch"

For a moment, I thought you were talking about me again.
wander
Apr. 16th, 2008 03:06 am (UTC)
No fair deleting a post before I could respond to it.

W
redsgoddes
Apr. 16th, 2008 03:12 am (UTC)
I only fixed it, deleted the wrong thing. This is what I said..I said for a moment I thought you were talking about me again.. LMAO.
beautyofgrey
Apr. 16th, 2008 01:01 am (UTC)
mwahahahha!

I had a friend who used to have a pet ground hog. He was sooo snuggly and spoiled, it wasn't even funny.

Maybe it's a wildesquirrel. You know, the kind that grow to be up 3 feet long, have long, bloody fangs, and suck on old beer cans?
ryl
Apr. 16th, 2008 01:47 am (UTC)
ECU squirrels, you mean.
wander
Apr. 16th, 2008 03:06 am (UTC)
I think you may be right.

W
brotherskeeper1
Apr. 16th, 2008 05:56 am (UTC)
How about a badger?
wander
Apr. 16th, 2008 06:03 am (UTC)
Very well could be. I've seen a few out in the woods.

W
brotherskeeper1
Apr. 16th, 2008 06:44 am (UTC)
We have them here ... remember I had a problem with the horrible growling and found the hole that was being scratched out under my deck last year (before the new deck was built?) I believe there were two of them fighting and hearing them below me when I put cat food out on the deck was very frightening. Had I seen two badgers fighting there, I would have taken my 12 gauge to them. It was the most awful growling I've heard in my lifetime.
wander
Apr. 16th, 2008 01:00 pm (UTC)
I'll check this weekend. If that's what it turns out to be, a high pressure sprayer ought to do the trick.

W
vainpoppy
Apr. 16th, 2008 04:42 pm (UTC)
i added you.
wander
Apr. 16th, 2008 05:01 pm (UTC)
Added you back.

W
blurofego
Apr. 17th, 2008 01:02 am (UTC)
Wait until she hears a feral hog... Yikes!
wander
Apr. 17th, 2008 03:37 am (UTC)
Luckily we don't have those up this way. I think we've determined it's a badger. So I'll have some work with a high pressure sprayer this weekend. Need to persuade it to move elsewhere.

W
chimerae
Apr. 18th, 2008 12:11 pm (UTC)
There's a momma racoon and her babies under the porch at Ross's . . . but not always!

Little bears with bandit masks!
wander
Apr. 18th, 2008 12:20 pm (UTC)
I'll find out soon enough. Going down tomorrow to hunt mushrooms.

W
chimerae
Apr. 18th, 2008 12:58 pm (UTC)
Jabberwock?
wander
Apr. 18th, 2008 02:53 pm (UTC)
I could imagine something like that but I think it may just be your run of the mill badger or groundhog. I'll be finding out tomorrow.

W
( 26 comments — Leave a comment )