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There are certain words that you have to wonder if they could make them sound any more disgusting than they already do. Some of these follow:

pap smear

It figures that most of them have something to do with illness or disease. I once had a swimming coach named Lois Grygotis. We used to joke that her name sounded like a venereal disease. As in "Oh my God! What is that rash all over your penis? Shit, I must have Lois Grygotis again!"

And couldn't they come up with better sounding words than vagina and penis? I know those are the clinical terms but geeze, give them a little personality at least!



( 9 comments — Leave a comment )
Jun. 10th, 2002 04:14 pm (UTC)
*puts on Latin Hat*
There's actually a good reason for the "vagina" business. Penis ruined the imagery though. See here in the comments.

Personally, I've always hated the word "gorge." It sounds so nasty, even when you're talking about a big gap in the ground. Thank goodness the Spanish gave us canyon.
Jun. 11th, 2002 08:39 am (UTC)
Do you suppose these words sound dirty by association? As you pointed out, they're all used to describe diseases, the symptoms thereof, or medical procedures. It makes you wonder how many other words would be less appealing if they were used to describe different things. To wit, would you find the words "hydrangea" or "amaryillis" so appealing if they didn't refer to flowers but instead were the names of particularly nasty bacterial infections? How appetizing would you find a "stromboli" if it was not an Italian cuisine but instead some kind of blood clotting problem? On the flip side, and I know this is difficult to imagine, but what if "diarrhea" were actually the name given to an ancient Greek track event? Y'know...the run? HAR HAR HAR

Okay, I'll be quiet now.

Jun. 11th, 2002 09:01 am (UTC)
hahahahahahahahahahahahahah. I saw that one coming. I've got an amusing diarrhea story if there is such a thing. When I used to be on Staff at Philmont Scout Ranch in NM which is now partially on fire by the way. We used to issue the crews HTH chlorine tablets and bags of this industrial strength cleaner called Tetrox. You were supposed t owash the pots and pans with Tetrox and water then rinse in the HTH. But if you were sloppy, the Tetrox would remain on the pans and get into your food and cause mad diarrhea which we called "The Tetrox Trots". On some parts of the Ranch, bears are a problem so you have to hang all your food and "smellables" ie film, deodorant and etc i na "bear bag" in a tree away from camp. So at this one backcountry camp, a bear named Charlie climbed the tree, swatted the rope holding the bear bag up and got the contents to spill on the ground. Then he went to feasting. Unfortunately for him, he ate 4 bags of Tetrox along with everything else. So the next day, the staff of that camp decided to track him. They came back laughing about an hour later. They said the first 15 minutes you had to actually follow sign to find his path but after that, the Terox Trots took over and it was no problem figuring out which way he went by the huge amounts of bear shit all over the place. I felt sorry for Charlie's digestive tract after that.


Jun. 11th, 2002 12:03 pm (UTC)
I almost skipped this comment entirely when it began with "I've got an amusing diarrhea story..."

I guess that answers the age old question, though, about where bears shit. Is any more evidence needed?
Jun. 11th, 2002 12:43 pm (UTC)
Well...yeah. I require a form signed in triplicate and a notorized affidavit attesting to the veracity of the reputed location of a bear's toilet. But that's just me.
Jun. 11th, 2002 12:49 pm (UTC)
i've got pictures! Wanna see?


Jun. 11th, 2002 06:22 pm (UTC)
As I was typing my earlier comment I thought to myself, "Self, you'd better not mention photographic evidence just in case pictures of this event actually exist. It would not surprise me in the least, Self, if Wander actually has pictures of this, so let's just go with the affidavit instead, 'kay?" And so it was written.
Jun. 12th, 2002 06:41 am (UTC)
I was just kidding anyway. I had better things to take photos of that summer than bear shit.


Jun. 13th, 2002 10:54 pm (UTC)
You seem a little too excited about that.
( 9 comments — Leave a comment )


Wander aka StoneBear
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