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mom Sent

Mom and Dad send me little happy spam all the time. They still have not learned that I hate spam. Watcha gonna do? Occasionally something good comes through and today was one of those occasions. So here it is. I've found most of these to be true in my life.

FOURTEEN THINGS THAT IT TOOK OVER 50 YEARS TO LEARN By Dave Barry

1. Never, under any circumstances, take a sleeping pill and a laxative on the
same night.

2. If you had to identify, in one word, the reason why the human race has not
achieved, and never will achieve, its full potential, that word would be
"meetings."

3. There is a very fine line between "hobby" and "mental illness."

4. People who want to share their religious views with you almost never want
you to share yours with them.

5. You should not confuse your career with your life.

6. Nobody cares if you can't dance well. Just get up and dance.

7. Never lick a steak knife.

8. The most destructive force in the universe is gossip.

9. You will never find anybody who can give you a clear and compelling reason
why we observe daylight savings time.

10. You should never say anything to a woman that even remotely suggests that
you think she's pregnant unless you can see an actual baby emerging from her at
that moment.

11. There comes a time when you should stop expecting other people to make a
big deal about your birthday. That time is age eleven.

12. The one thing that unites all human beings, regardless of age, gender,
religion, economic status or ethnic background, is that, deep down inside, we
ALL believe that we are above average drivers.

13. A person who is nice to you, but rude to the waiter, is not a nice person.
(This is very important. Pay attention. It never fails.)

14. Your friends love you anyway.


Wander

Comments

( 9 comments — Leave a comment )
evangelinaarion
Nov. 12th, 2002 03:01 pm (UTC)
Ok so number 7 I do all the time..
ryl
Nov. 12th, 2002 03:06 pm (UTC)
Yeah, me too. The trick is to lick the dull edge.
wander
Nov. 12th, 2002 03:09 pm (UTC)
Re:
Yeah me too which is why I talk with thith lithp all the time.

Wander

i
Nov. 12th, 2002 03:27 pm (UTC)
15. lists such as this may lead you in the direction of truth, but they are not truth, no matter how they ring.
wander
Nov. 14th, 2002 07:41 am (UTC)
Re:
True, the truth is different for everyone of us my friend.

W
wildgarden
Nov. 12th, 2002 05:39 pm (UTC)
OK, I get them all except for #11. I love birthdays, even my own.
wander
Nov. 14th, 2002 07:40 am (UTC)
Re:
I love them too. I think he's talking about the adults who expect people to make a big deal about their birthdays and then get all bummed out when other's don't instead of just doing something special for themselves.

Wander

bonedadyb
Nov. 13th, 2002 11:41 am (UTC)
That was great! Especially #13. So so true.
wander
Nov. 14th, 2002 07:37 am (UTC)
Re:
Happily those folks usually divorce themselves from my life before too long.

Wander

( 9 comments — Leave a comment )