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Gearing up

I'm sitting here trying not to get juice on my keyboard from this oh-sooooo-juicy peach I'm eating. Went by the farmer's market at lunch and bought a bushel of peaches which means I've got more to can this weekend. We bought a vacuum sealer the other night so I'll be sealing a bushel of peaches-and-cream sweet corn as well.

I've got a lot of cleaning to do in anticipation of the folks showing up next week. All the art for my current book is due next week. I thrilled an artist this moring by telling him I'd giuve him $5000 if he could finish all 25 pieces of art by next Friday. He told his wife he was going to put offtaking her to the Botanical Gardens in order to do my job. I'm sure she loves me now. Plus Deb's birthday is next week. Can we heap any mor stress on me this coming week?

Last weekend was just the same though. Lots of work. No rest for the wicked. Lots of gardening and mowing the pastures and barnyard. With all the rain of late, I'd let it go and it was getting pretty bushy. I found out what the stranfge vine was growing in the garden. Seems the watermellon seeds I threw out there last year came up as volunteers. I've got 7 watermelons all the size of golfballs growing out there. Plus I've got these huge pumpkins. I planted them at least but I didn't think I planted giants. All of these will be in the 30-40 pound range and they are already turning orange. So I'll have them way before Autumn. Oh well, I'll bake them and vacuum seal the pulp for freezing. I harvested 17 huge cucumbers in the last week and my peppers are starting to really jump out. The tomatoes finally got red with the heart of the last week and I'm getting a dozen or so each day. Beets are ready and so are the zukes. I got some nice yellow squash off the vines Wednesday too. Much more canning this weekend. Good thing Big Lots had a sale on jars.

Last Saturday night was hilarious. Gwen had told me earlier in the day we might go the new bar in town that evening. So around dark, I made sure I was off the tractor and getting cleaned up before I headed over there. I hardly drink at all and I'm not much for bars anyway but Deb stayed in the city and I didn't have to worry about her health for the moment. Plus when Gwen really gets to drinking art a bar, there is every possibility of her taking off her shirt and dancing at least half naked on the bar. That alone would be worth the price of admission. I got over to Rob and Gwen's just after dark. Rob had done steaks on the grill and roasted sweet corn that he and his Dad had just picked. There was stil a steak left and lots of corn so I dug in with just my fingers as utensils were scarce. Rob was in a decent mood and talkative so it promised to be a good night. Brenda was there, obviously tipsy already and kept calling me Dierker which I personally hate but I'll let a woman get away with it. I'd rather people call me Wander or Mark or StoneBear. I just hate being called by my last name. I absolutely refuse to let kids call me by my last name.

Brenda is an interesting case. She's a lesbian. Thankfully not a man-hating lesbian though her partner borders on that. She and Lynn, her partner have lived up the street from Rob and Gwen for forever. It's just been recently that we've all started socializing though. They were always refered to as "the lesbians up the street." Not so much as a deragatory thing but because that's the only thing anyone really knew about them. Lynn was married a long time back to a man and had a kid who now lives with her and Brenda. The kid is in his late teens anyway.

Funny thing about gay people in small midwestern towns. I know there is a prejudice against gay men. In fact, Lynn's kid was talking trash about a high school kid everyone though was gay, just the other day. Which is just so ironic since his Mom is gay. And yet, her is an openly lesbian couple living right in the midst of all these old redneck farmer types and no one says a word bad about them. I guess gay women are just not as threatening. It also could be that they've been together long enough for people to get past the stereotypes.

So anyway, all was right in the world of Lynn and Brenda until Robbie the Postman kicked his soon to be ex wife NotSue out of the house. We all used to hang out over there even when NotSue was in Mega Bitch mode. Sometimes we hung out just to bug her. Lynn nad Brenda both used to go over and drink with Robbie when NotSue was still around. But then last week, Brenda went over alone, got drunk with Robbie and ended up spending the night on his couch. Now I can tell you with almost absolute certainty that nothing sexual happened between them. First off, Robbie can't get it up when he gets so drunk he passes out. This is a well known fact. Second, there is no reason for Brenda not to be faithful to Lynn. Third, while Robbie is a really great guy, he is certainly no looker. In fact, if I was a woman, you couln't pay me enough to sleep with Robbie. I'd say he was an acquired taste, even as just a friend.

But Lynn somehow got the twisted idea in her head that Brenda slept with Robbie and had somehow become his flavor of the month. So Brenda was over at Rob and Gwen's without Lynn, trying to keep up on the Jack and Mt. Dew with Gwen. Not an easy feat by any means. I wouldn't try and I outweigh Gwen by a good 140 pounds. So needless to say, by the time we rolled out to go to the bar, Gwen and Brenda were already pretty lit. We all kept teasing Brenda about sleeping with Robbie. She was taking it in stride pretty much. We all decided to go in Rob's truck with the crew cab. For some odd reason, Gwen stuck me and Brenda in the back. The guy with the longest legs, and the woman with the widest hips. I was trying to not take up much room so Brenda could have more. She ended up putting her arm around me to be more comfortable. Then she realized what she was doing and pulled back and I told her I didn't mind. Gwen told us to watch it or Lynn would think Brenda was sleeping with me. I said at least she'd have a better time than sleeping with Robbie. We all kept laughing about it and throwing little jibes in here and there. When we got to the bar, Gwen couldn't figure out he seat and so Brenda and I had to try and aqueeze out. Brenda sort of got stuck. We were all laughing abouthte situation. Gwen told me to push while she pulled. So given no otehr real options on how to push, I put one hand on her waist and one on her butt and pushed. Brenda jokingly told me I was getting a little too familiar back there. I told her I might as well get familiar if I was going to steal her from Robbie. And on it went like that all night.

The bar was crowded. I mean rrally crowded. Of course a new bar is going to attract all the people you never knew even lived in and around town. There was a healthy populatiuon of women there at least. And a live band which, will draw people every time, even if it's a bad band. and $1.50 longnecks or 75 cent drafts. What more could you wanrt from a bar on a hot Saturday night?

I went into protective mode like I always do. Seems like Rob had the same idea. We each found a wall to lean against where we could reach the bar but also keep an eye on the girls and make a hasty retreat if one was needed. There was certainly a recipe for violence there. I really didn't want to see a bar fight but I was ready for one. Chad was there and so were both his ex-wives which is always a formula for disaster. Luckily he didn't have another woman with him or I'm sure either Allison or Barb would have had something to say. There are very few circumstnace where I'd say hitting a woman is justified but those two have done some things that would make you think about it. There was also a good mix of people who just flart out didn't like each other. But the band was good, the beer was cheap and cold and for once, everyone seemed to be enjoying themselves. Brenda hung with me for awhile. I think she enjoyed the protection I afforded as much as the talk we were having. Eventually though, Gwen came out and dragged he to the dance floor. She asked me if I wanted to dance but I told her I'd stay and wait for her. Truth is, I like to dance but when you dance, it's hard to keep an eye on people and what is going on with the dynamics of the place. So I stood my ground. Plus it gave me an opportuntiy to down a couple Buds. I've never been one of those folks that really likes beer to the point I thirst for it. But there are time when the mood and the temp is just right that I really love a cold bottle of Bud. And it's got to be a longneck too. Those 4 beers went down way too easy. Each one tasting jsut as crisp and sweet as the last one. I actually had a pretty good buzz going. As I said, I don't drink much. Brenda came back to stand by me after a bit. Robbie showed up wit hsome drunk blonde woman. I told him he better watch out or Brenda would get jealous. Robbie leaned over and teased Brenda, asking her if she was leaving him for someone with a beer gut. I said I'd actually have to drink beer more often to have a beer gut. This is a food gut. Then he told her, just because they call him (me) StoneBear doesn't mean he's hard all the time. She laughed and I told him I'd never had any complaints unlike some people I could name. We all hada good laugh over it.

As predicted, Gwen was loosening up on the dance floor and flashing every now and then. Otheres joined in and soon there were about half a dozen topless women parading about the close quarters of the dance floor. I'm sure no one minded. I didn't. The band didn't seem to mind either. Rob was getting an eyefull so he didn't try to stop Gwen from doing it. No one got naked and danced on the bar but hey, free partial nudity. I'm not complaining.

Later we all made it back to the house and ate the remaining ears of corn. It was humid so we all decided to take a dip in Robbies pool which was like a sauna because he'd left the solar cover on all week. Rob an Gwen were acting all sexy. It was a little sickening but we let them have their fun. Brenda and I just talked for a long time, coming down from the buzz. I kept making her laugh. It was good to see her laugh. Later on she went back home and I went back out to the farm and slept in Sunday before doing more work all day.

Today I heard Lynn and Brenda were splitting up. Oh well, I feel for Brenda but she'll bounce back I think. Lynn doesn't know what she is giving up. Jealousy is a stupid emotion.




( 4 comments — Leave a comment )
(Deleted comment)
Jul. 23rd, 2004 02:26 pm (UTC)
It's OK. I'm laughing too.

Jul. 23rd, 2004 05:30 pm (UTC)
I wonder if there are any other reasons besides the jealously that they are splitting up for. I kinda hope so b/c it seems like there was nothing to worry about.

I feel bad for brenda. :(

Glad to hear your crops are doing well though! :)
Jul. 24th, 2004 10:22 am (UTC)
There has been an issue of mistrust with them for awhile and I think Lynn was just looking for a way to get out where she could lay the blame on someone else.

Jul. 23rd, 2004 11:43 pm (UTC)
You're right. Jealousy IS a stupid emotion. That sounds like a night straight out of my sisters descriptions.
( 4 comments — Leave a comment )


Wander aka StoneBear
Bear Dancer Studios

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