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Embracing my inner redneck

I'd been feeling like my inner redneck was missing. Too many days of donning chinos and wing tips for work and dress-up dinners on the weekends I guess. So, since I was alone for the weekend at the farm, I decided to pay my inner redneck a visit. A "Fisherman do it with Big Rods" t-shirt with cut off sleeves, a holey pair of Wranglers and a dusty pair of cowboy boots was the attire of choice. I made up a pitcher of sweet ice tea to keep me company. Saturday, my old red dog, Jake and I went for a walk in the woods to check out prospective areas for gathering morel mushrooms when they appear in the next two weeks. Jake found a rabbit to chase all around the hollows and though the creek. He came back muddy and happy and we found several good spots. Later on, I got out the 20 gauge and took target practice on some old PC's I had laying around. PC's blow up really good for future reference. On towards dark, I got out some black powder and other supplies and tested some pyro effects I want to use in NC at the end of the month. Rob came over to help for a bit. He's just about got me talked out of the Cremora bombs though. I've got enough clearance for the crowd but the white pines behind me might end up getting scorched and I don't want to be putting out a fire during the show. Saturday night, I went over to Rob and Gwens and helped Rob can some fresh horseradish before we sat down to watch the Final Four Games.

Note- I'm the only UNC fan in an office full of Illinois fans. Of course the office is located in Illinois so I guess it just sort of follows that they woul all root for Illinois. Go Heels!

Sunday, I got out early and fixed the '84 F150. It just needed a new starter solenoid and it fired right up. So I let Jake get in the back and we spent 45 minutes driving full throttle down the field lanes and through the unplanted fields. We caught some air a couple times when I cut through a fence row I had taken out last year. REDNECKS IN SPAAAAAAAAACE! That was fun so we got my 87 Jetta started and did the same thing. I have to say, As fun as the truck was, the car was even more so. It has a smaller turning radius so we were doing donuts at nearly 60 mph in the middle of the fields and flying down the fence rows. I'm sure my neighbor now thinks I'm even more nuts than he did when he saw me emerging naked from my sweat lodge a few years back. Later Sunday, I took the newer F150 over to my cousin Alan's farm, listening to Hank Williams Sr. Alan was going to give me a dozen bales of straw for our community garden. Then he found out I was a Tarheels fan and he said he wanted to charge me for the straw instead. So I set on to teasing him about Illinois basketball. He said it was a good thing the Pope didn't die in the middle of Basketball games on Saturday or they might have cut out in the middle of the Illinois/Louisville game. I sarcastically commented that the man was only Pope for 27 years, Illinois only makes the Championship game every hundred years or so.

He finally got up in the hayloft and started tossing down the bales. I stood in the bed of the truck and arranged them as they came down. I swear he was trying to hit me.

After I left, I took half the bales in to Robbie's house in town to cover the 50 pounds of Yukon Gold taters we just planted. Scotty and Chad were there so we sat around drinking Busch beer...well they did, I was drinking A&W Rootbeer...and watching Barb work and the kids play and I took the opportunity to tease both of them about Illinois basketball. They were better natured about it than Alan was. We talked some about Bill's death and where they were going to be working this year. Then I went back to the farm and tilled my own garden to get it ready for planting. Around dark, I packed up Jake the Dog and I and headed back up to the City, my Inner Redneck well satisfied.




( 17 comments — Leave a comment )
Apr. 4th, 2005 08:37 pm (UTC)
The funny thing is that this post appeared on my flist right behind one about pork rinds. :)

I really need to do some research on morel mushrooms. I've never had any, but they're a delicacy around here and it's almost time for picking season up in the mountains too. I'd love to pick my own; I just don't want to eat the wrong thing and die young. :)
Apr. 4th, 2005 08:46 pm (UTC)
Nice thing about morels is, it's hard to confuse them. They are phallic for the most part and the caps look like brains or honey combs depending on your perspective. Here they start out the first week with grey morels. The second week we don't find the greys and only see the much larger yellow morels. I've found them up to a pound apiece before but 4-6 inches tall is much more common. They are a delicacy here too as the season only lasts 2 to 3 weeks. We can sell them in the taverns for $15 to $30 a pound depending on how late in the season it is.

Apr. 4th, 2005 08:51 pm (UTC)
Go here for some god pix and tips on Morels:


Apr. 4th, 2005 08:45 pm (UTC)
There used to be a fun "Redneck in Space" bridge in Iredell County. My sister called it the "woo-ha" bridge because if you went over 35 on it, you would go over the small hill in the middle and go "WOOOO-HA!" I think they've flattened it out, though. Stupid state. They ruin all our fun.

And I don't care if they are an NC team, UNC can go to hell and take their damn team with them. If I hear any more about Mays this year, I may have to go on a mild rampage.
Apr. 4th, 2005 08:48 pm (UTC)
You are referring of course to Sean May? Probably the greatest player UNC ever had except for Jordan. I think I might invite him to the fireworks shoot. hehehehe

Apr. 4th, 2005 11:07 pm (UTC)
Good. Then I can fulfill my months-long dream to SHOVE A FIRECRACKER UP HIS ASS!

I hate star players. I really really do. I'd hate him even if he didn't play for UNC because I'm sick of hearing about him.
Apr. 5th, 2005 03:03 pm (UTC)
That's not his fault though. You need shove a firecracker up the ass of the press. In his case though, he really is the real deal. He's a great player. and guess what, he's only a junior so you get to endure his fame next year as well.

Apr. 5th, 2005 05:55 pm (UTC)
I guess what I'm afraid of is that all the press will go to his head. He is a hell of a player and I'd hate to see him lose a promising basketball career by getting too cocky too soon and becoming an ass like Dennis Rodman or that guy who got into a fight at that NBA game. There are too many "ghetto" basketball players as it is. It would be nice to have a humble guy playing.
Apr. 5th, 2005 05:59 pm (UTC)
Well that reamins to be seen. Money and fame has a way of changing a person. Of course Sean's mother is a very active part of his life, kind of like Shaq and like Jordan's family was and I think that has a lot to do with it. May doesn't have nearly the tattoos of Rodman or the propensity to don pimp attire so he may be safe from that fate.

Apr. 4th, 2005 09:33 pm (UTC)
Yee Haw!

I saw a pink coyote on eBay and thought about you.
Apr. 4th, 2005 09:43 pm (UTC)
Heh, cool, thanks. We get around.

Apr. 4th, 2005 11:27 pm (UTC)
Don't let your dog roll in those morels before you can get to them, now!
Apr. 5th, 2005 03:04 pm (UTC)
Oh I won't, he usually just finds them and goes on down to the creek to roll around anymore.

Apr. 5th, 2005 05:28 am (UTC)
Later on, I got out the 20 gauge and took target practice on some old PC's I had laying around. PC's blow up really good for future reference.

Yeah, I like to shoot at the Politically Correct crowd, too. Great fun, and good for the nation.

...Miss morels, though. None here in Arizona.
Apr. 5th, 2005 03:14 pm (UTC)
So you got out there then? I was wondering if you had. As I do for my family in NC, I'd be willing to send you some morels when I get them. You'll just have to give me an address. You can eamil me at dierker@frontiernet.net. I'll overnight them. I've done it several times before and they come out just fine.

Apr. 14th, 2005 06:30 pm (UTC)
Great redneck story!
You know your a redneck when....
Your porch caves in and it kills more than 4 dogs.

I like that one becasue my family has a huge deck and always more than 4 dogs.
Morels! I almost forgot my favorite forage.
Thanks for the reminder!
Apr. 14th, 2005 07:10 pm (UTC)
hehehe. Found some last weekned. I'll post pics tomorrow.

( 17 comments — Leave a comment )