?

Log in

No account? Create an account

Previous Entry | Next Entry

Conspiracies I'm seeing

Fuel prices rising and the government looking to drill in the Alaskan Wildlife preserve (even though as mentioned by Bill Maher, we don't have enough refineries to process more crude)

The fact that Spring has come and the incidence of LJ memes about sex has increased. Really, if you want to know if I want to have sex with you, just ask, I'll tell you.

The fact I'm trying to watch what/how much I eat and now Dairy Queen has come out with the Raspberry Cheesequake Blizzard - heartless bastards.


Oh and by the way, I've lost about 12 pounds and 2 inches off my waist. Trouble is I don't really need to lose inches of my waist. My waist is the only thing I have to keep my pants up. I have no ass to speak of so I have to keep tightening my belt. Pretty soon my pants will be falling off altogether. I guess I could just go naked but that might be a little inconvenient for work.

Oh and did you know that male deer will sometimes mate so frequently that they will just die from exhaustion? I found such a carcass just the other day. I could tell from the half smoked cigarrette hanging out of his mouth.

Wander

Comments

( 31 comments — Leave a comment )
moonvision
Apr. 21st, 2005 04:42 pm (UTC)
You can wear suspenders to keep your pants up!
wander
Apr. 21st, 2005 05:04 pm (UTC)
And you know, I've got a couple pairs of really cool, braided leather suspenders. I just need to find someone to sew suspender buttons into my pants since they don't seem to come like that anymore. I don't like the clip on suspenders. They tend to eat holes in your pants.

Wander

(no subject) - moonvision - Apr. 21st, 2005 05:12 pm (UTC) - Expand
(no subject) - wander - Apr. 21st, 2005 06:31 pm (UTC) - Expand
(no subject) - carocrow - Apr. 21st, 2005 08:57 pm (UTC) - Expand
(no subject) - wander - Apr. 21st, 2005 09:36 pm (UTC) - Expand
dragoneerl
Apr. 21st, 2005 04:43 pm (UTC)
What a way to go. What a wonderful, terrific way to go. I hope my own demise is half as happy.
wander
Apr. 21st, 2005 05:02 pm (UTC)
I know, every time I run across one (6 times in 2 years), I look at him and say, "Lucky Bastard!"

Wander
aronal
Apr. 21st, 2005 05:08 pm (UTC)
Lucky doe ;)
wander
Apr. 21st, 2005 05:49 pm (UTC)
Lucky multiple does actually. Since they move from one to another. It would be nice to have a harem. Even if it killed you.

Wander
(no subject) - aronal - Apr. 21st, 2005 06:03 pm (UTC) - Expand
(no subject) - wander - Apr. 21st, 2005 07:31 pm (UTC) - Expand
inushnu
Apr. 21st, 2005 05:27 pm (UTC)
Do you want to have sex with me? I want to have sex with me. I want to have sex with EVERYONE! I MUST PROCREATE AND MATE AND MATE AND COPULATE!

I am a man deer, a buck boy, a rack in the sack.

Yeah.

Way to go on the weight. Did you send it to me, cuz, like, I seem to be putting ON weight for the summer. Heartless bastard.

=p
wander
Apr. 21st, 2005 05:51 pm (UTC)
I'm not trying to send it to you. But I guess like Karma, the weight has to go somewhere. Still, there are plenty of people here in the midwest who could honestly use it. Hey, you could have more sex and work it off.

Wander
ex_earthsist869
Apr. 21st, 2005 06:48 pm (UTC)
Bwhahaha! Priceless!
wander
Apr. 21st, 2005 07:33 pm (UTC)
Thanks!

W
citrinepoint
Apr. 21st, 2005 07:13 pm (UTC)
Ice skating or rollerblading will help you work out glutes. Squats may help too. Supposedly the tuchas is the easiest muscle in the body to increase.
wander
Apr. 21st, 2005 07:33 pm (UTC)
I'm riding my mountain bike a lot and it's helping as well.

Wander
(no subject) - wander - Apr. 21st, 2005 07:34 pm (UTC) - Expand
carocrow
Apr. 21st, 2005 08:52 pm (UTC)
I am ROTFLMAO about the deer thing. You crazy thing.

Maybe it's time for suspenders or overalls ;-) Though the thought of your pants falling off spontaneously makes my pulse do something funny.

wander
Apr. 21st, 2005 09:31 pm (UTC)
It's already happening. I'm constantly having to pull my pants up. I don't want to be showing off any "construction cleavage"

And I never knew the thing about the deer until I found the first carcass and asked Deb's dad about it. I actullay thought he was kidding me when he told me the first time.

W
redsgoddes
Apr. 21st, 2005 08:57 pm (UTC)
People are writing meme's about you and having sex with you? Damn! are you that memorable?
wander
Apr. 21st, 2005 09:34 pm (UTC)
I doubt it. I don't think I've had sex with too many LJers though of course I don't know who from my past is on LJ. I was just noticing the proliferation of memes like "If you'd like to have hot nasty sex with someone on your friend's list, copy this sentence and put it on your LJ." That sort of thing.

Wander
(no subject) - redsgoddes - Apr. 21st, 2005 09:41 pm (UTC) - Expand
(no subject) - wander - Apr. 21st, 2005 09:44 pm (UTC) - Expand
(no subject) - redsgoddes - Apr. 21st, 2005 09:46 pm (UTC) - Expand
blackbird013
Apr. 21st, 2005 09:23 pm (UTC)
LMAO

I can relate to most of that!
wander
Apr. 21st, 2005 09:38 pm (UTC)
Sometimes you just have to laugh at things.

Wander
coyotepup
Apr. 22nd, 2005 07:20 am (UTC)
>>>Fuel prices rising and the government looking to drill in the Alaskan Wildlife preserve (even though as mentioned by Bill Maher, we don't have enough refineries to process more crude)<<<

A liberal lie. We can process more crude, but there are different grades of crude. What we're prepared to process are the more premium grades, which would be supplied via the Alaskan reserves.
wander
Apr. 22nd, 2005 02:49 pm (UTC)
Thanks for clearing that up as always. Though Maher was actually quoting a Saudi source who said in effect, we can pump all the oil you want but you lack the refineries to do anything with it. But beyond that, why is it a good idea to start more drilling in Alaska? Doesn't that just increase our reliance on fossil fuels? Shouldn't the emphasis be put on renewable sources of fuel?

Wander
jelly_fish
Apr. 22nd, 2005 02:16 pm (UTC)
Congratulations on the 12 pounds! I always lose it first in my stomach and my bust. That is NOT where I want to lose it either. I'd be happy if I lost it everywhere except there!
( 31 comments — Leave a comment )