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Public Speaking

Cuddles entry about his Public Speaking class inspired me to write about my own similar experience.

Public Speaking was one of my favorites too. I got myself in this situation in undergrad school where I just got fed up with being in school. I still had 32 hours to go so I got permission to take a 26 hour course load in one semester and they would let me walk at graduation. Then I would have to take 6 hours in summer school to finish up and actually get my BA. That last semster was a killer but fun at any rate.

For the summer school thing, they were doing this short semester plan. You took two 3 hour classes for three weeks. You went to class for four hours every day in each class and took midterms and finals on the weekends. So you were actually in class for 8 hours each day. My first class was Public Speaking and my second class was Psychology for Effective Living. The second one was really cool because it was basically, the prof throwing out some current controversial topic and you had to take a stand either for or against and defend your stance. I liked to mess with people so I took a stand one day on being for extra-marital sex. There were these two old Catholic women in there and you could tell, I was making them nervous. Pretty much, the prof knew me well and wanted me in the class just so I could rattle cages now and then. Plus there were some babes in there and for some reason, this one really liked it when I took the pro stand in sexual matters. Everyday she would come in and if I was in class early she would walk up and give me a massage. Nice little fringe benefit when you have to be in class all day. Unfortunately I was married so I couldn't do anything about it but the attention was nice.

The Public Speaking class was cool too but intense. It was a cool summer in Colorado and we used to go outside to do speeches which kind of throws you off. It's bad enough standing in front of a group of people who are sitting down much less a group of people who are sitting on the ground. Talk about feeling like you are towering over people. But after awhile, you get to feeling like you are demonstrating more than giving a speech so it gets a little easier. It was pretty intense though. Since we were going to the same class every day for four hours, and it was a big class (30 people) you ended up doing a speech like every other day.

One day it rained and we were back inside. We had this assignment to do a speech from the standpoint of the opposite gender. You can see how this might get a little crude. I think some guy even did a speech on the dangers of using plastic applicator tampons and some chick did a speech on how to cure jock itch. I did mine on the importance of breast self-examination and did a self examination for the class. But this one guy named Alfonso (now a major drug smuggler in Florida) really did some research before he did his speech. He got up to get his shit ready right after someone else had done a funny one. People were not paying attention to him. They were talking amongst themselves or filling out evaluations on the last speech. Then all of a sudden, Alfonso takes this big ass stack of biology books and slams them on the floor and yells at the top of his lungs "YOU BITCH!!!". People actually fell out of their chairs. There were women who were cowering in fear and some guy who was getting up with his fists clenched. Everyone else was just stunned. Alfonso gets right in some guys face and yells "ARE YOU SCARED NOW BITCH?!" The guy just meekly shakes his head yes. Then Alfonso yells at the class, "WELL MULTIPLY THAT TIMES A THOUSAND AND YOU WILL HAVE SOME INKLING OF WHAT IT'S LIKE FOR A WOMAN TO BE RAPED!!!"

After everyone got over their shock, they all got up and applauded. The rest of his speech was pretty good too but he could have just shut up after that intro because he proved his point. Best damn speech I ever heard.

Cuddles talked about a preacher's wife. When I was in grad school a couple years back, I was a graduate assistant for the Career Services office. I used to have to read people's resumes and help them find jobs after graduation. There was this one woman who shall remain nameless. She was the wife of a Southern Baptist bishop or some sort of thing. One day, she came into my office for an appointment to read her resume. We got to talking a little, just small talk and she asks if she can give me her personal testimony. Before I can say no, she tells me all about how she used to be a slut and a drug abuser and one day she was in this church to steal from the donation box and Jesus himself came down to sit beside her and tell her about the error of her ways. And how ever since then she feels she's been called to spread his word. And all through this, she keeps touching my knee and calling me honey and sweetie and such. I think I was mortified. I pretty much didn't say anything. Afterward, instead of saying boo, I just said "Well now, about this line in your resume...." and just kept going. Wierd how some people feel perfectly natural invading your personal space.



( 2 comments — Leave a comment )
Oct. 24th, 2000 09:15 am (UTC)
Controversal Speakers.
Oh yeah! I had History of Philosophy last semester. The whole class we'd just talk about old philosophers and toss a few ideas around. Well the rest of the class wasn't that bright. At all. Maybe one of them had an IQ above a pet rock but I don't know. Well I was pretty vocal in that class(imagine that.) The instructor's a very intelligent guy and knows his stuff very well. We had two women in that class that just grated on my nerves day in and day out. There explanation for everything was and I qoute "Well The Bible says..." or "Well my Preacher says..." When asked why they believed one or the other they'd qoute the other one. If asked why they believed either they'd promptly inform you that you were going to hell. The only real assignment we had in that class was the final. We had to get up and tell the class our philosophy on life and site a few well knowns who we agreed or disagreed with. I waited till they had both gone up there without asking them a single thing. When I went up I carefully and methodicly took their arguements apart piece by piece. I entitled my philosophy "Why I'm Right And You're Wrong: An Unbias Look On Life." I knew I'd have to take on all questions when I was done but might I add that half-way throuh it the professor had the biggest grin on his face. When those girls hands shot up like rockets to criticize me I noted to them that their Preacher get's paid to stand up there and make them feel good about their faith and that the Bible wasn't written by God but by several old men who either wanted to be famous or control the local population so they told the masses "God Told Me This So Follow Me." I explained that though I was a Christian the main part of that was finding my faith by myself and not depending on weak crutches to support me. I then went on to tell them the "miracles" they've seen in their lives A. Dont mean shit to me and B. Can be explained scientificly easily. Needless to say after my rather harsh testimony both girls were in tears and cussing me for making them doubt their own precise faith which couldn't have been that strong. I mean if a smart ass punk like me can shake it imagine what "The Devil" would do. I love my Public Speaking class as I did my Philosophy class. They're kinda like a real life Livejournal topic group where I'm rewared for shakin cages as long as I can back it up. The weak minded are so easy to mess with, they don't have the intelligence to form any defense. Thank The Lord I'm smarter than the average bear. I got an A+ in that class by the way. They got a couple C-. Always take the cage rattling stance. It forces people to use their own brains instead of those of their leaders.


Oct. 24th, 2000 09:25 am (UTC)
Re: Controversal Speakers.
I always love to point out that the Bible has never been shown to be anything other than a clever work of fiction. That statement alone will get you damned to Hell in most people's minds. I mean it's really just an entertaining account of a certain people's mythology up to a certain point 2000 years ago. How about a book that details God's miracles since then? Blasphemous! Funny how many Christians take what's said in the Bible as law but when someone not Christian takes a stance defending their own mythology, they are all of a sudden Satanic. Even if those mythologies were around thousands of years before the Bible was even written.

Yup, you just gotta stir things up every now and then to feel alive!

( 2 comments — Leave a comment )


Wander aka StoneBear
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