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The fire in your eyes
Keeps me alive
And the fire in your eyes
Keeps me alive
I'm sure in her you'll find
The sanctuary
I'm sure in her you'll find
The sanctuary

- The Cult

As much as I'd like to see myself as a drifter, wandering through life, I put down roots like everyone else. I don't think I can help myself in that matter. I want somewhere safe to escape to now and then and I find it in the people I love.

There are those handful of people out there who I leave peices of my soul with for safekeeping. When I return to claim them, I need have no walls or defenses about me. I can be totally honest and naked and know they will understand me and offer comfort if I need it. Little parts of me spread out all over the world.

Sometimes I wonder if I gave all the little pieces away what would be left of me.

It's very comforting to know I have all those little ports to retreat to in the event of a storm.

I've found a place of sanctuary here for the last seven years. I've found a person of sanctuary here for the last five years. She's the one who owns the most stock in pieces of my soul besides me. I don't have to pretend with her. Even if she doesn't understand, at least she's willing to listen.

Those caretakes of my soul pieces have the power to pull me back to them when they need me. They have only to touch the little piece I've left behind and think of me. I feel their pull and I respond.

These connections are not puppet strings. I act of my own accord. They are simply direct connections to my soul. A way of maintaining contact when I go into the unknown.

Sometimes I get to a place where I need help getting back. It's those times I'm happiest to have established the connections in the first place.

I feel the restless need growing in me. For several years I've been able to stave it off with brief vacations but it's been put off for too long and it's growing of it's own accord now. Soon I will be able to do nothing to stop it. I'll have to heed it's siren call and follow it into the unknown. Whether it will be a journey of the mind or of the body I have no way of knowing.

It can be a scary thing, but like a snake shedding it's skin, it usually ends up being a good thing. A discovery of new knowledge about myself and the world around me. It's a sign that for too long I've been looking at things in only one way. A new perspective is needed.

I have been known to occasionally get lost in the journey. So those of you (you know who you are) who own my soul pieces, if I'm out of touch for too long, feel free to touch the connection and call me back.

I don't know when I'll be leaving or if there will be enough time for warnings or good byes so I'm telling you now the time is near. It's a little frightening, going into the unknown but I feel I'm well prepared. I have some powerful friends to call on if I get in a bind.




( 2 comments — Leave a comment )
May. 4th, 2001 04:32 am (UTC)
No matter where you travel to, know that I wish you the absolute best, and that I'll always be around to want to hear the outcome.

You are 'Wander', after all.
May. 4th, 2001 07:44 am (UTC)
Thanks dear. You know I feel the same about you. You were one of the connections I was reffering to.



( 2 comments — Leave a comment )


Wander aka StoneBear
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