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My brother has an interesting way of dealing with emailed questions he doesn't want to answer. He just doesn't answer. You get replies that almost feel like he read around your questions and didn't deal with it. Or he just stops replying altogether. Effective but highly annoying to the person asking the questions, me mostly. And maybe the annoying part is by design so you'll stop asking. Then eventually he'll email you to just check in and I think that's a feeler to see if you are still pursuing the question. If you just reply back that everything is OK, the lines of communication will open up again.

I never have that kind of luck just not replying to things. Or maybe my friends are just more persistent.

My landlords finally decided to respond to repeated attempts to get them the understand we have some problems with the house. The results of this decision to respond are that by next Friday I'll have a new refrigerator to replace the one whose condensor has decided to take up playing the drums and saxaphone simultaneously.

And tomorrow the roto rooter plumber guy will be out to route out our sewer system thus allowing us to wash dishes, flush the toilet and shower all in the same day once more. We've been without a kitchen sink or dishwasher that drain for a month and for the last week have been having to decide to take a shower or flush the toilet. Bailing out the shower/tub into the yard is always fun and probably illegal in some way.

It will be good to be able to use the dishwasher again. It will either cost $80 or $175 depending on the size of the machine that has to be used. How good do we think my karma is right now? At least I can take it off the rent.

Lastly, I've pretty much decided to move to Dubuque, IA in August and continue to work out of our new office there. Big town wages for little town cost of living plus no traffic jams, good restaurants, living right beside the Mother River and great night life. I'll probably get a dog again too. Work will also pay for the move. I'm just going to throw everything in a truck and haul it over there. We never really unpacked from the move 2 years ago anyway.




( 12 comments — Leave a comment )
May. 7th, 2009 10:40 pm (UTC)
Yay for the move!

As to your brother . . .don't know what's going on, but exhibit the same behaviors under questioning, and not just on questions I want to avoid. I frequently do it with things I very much WANT to talk about.

With me the "whys" come down to "pick a card, any card . . ." but after dilligent effort, I think what happens is that no longer have a defense for feelings and I have feelings far greater than any buckets I have to hold them. So for all sorts of things my ability to communicate goes to pieces like a cube of sugar dropped into coffee.

Since I've learned that in myself I have developed a good track record of helping other people through it. Artist and musicians seem to have rather an overwhelming tendency to it.

May have nothing to do with your brother and what's going on, but for what it's worth. . .

Connie's helping learn new ways by helping me try stuff around this and bringing the hard questions back around all the time.
May. 8th, 2009 05:55 am (UTC)
He's a musician but I think he's deliberately trying to keep is private life private. He's famous in our family for keeping the most distance and only dealing out the info he deems neccessary.

May. 7th, 2009 10:47 pm (UTC)
wash dishes, flush the toilet and shower all in the same day once more

You need a dog. You want Zelda?
May. 8th, 2009 05:56 am (UTC)
I do need a dog but I think I'll get a new one. No offense to Zelda. It will seem like a luxury when everything is fixed.

May. 8th, 2009 12:08 pm (UTC)
She doesn't automatically bark at Tall People anymore!

I can't give her away anyway. She's not mine, but I've gotten attached to her. Especially since she patiently waits for me to get up instead of jumping on the bed demanding like SOME cats I can mention.
May. 8th, 2009 03:02 pm (UTC)
Cats suck sometimes. Luckily ours attack Deb for food in the morning or there would be a cat launching party each day.

May. 8th, 2009 06:33 am (UTC)
If I ask a question that someone close to me does not want to answer, I prefer them being direct with me. Not rude, just direct...I have no problem with being told someone doesn't care to discuss something..or even being told to shut up LMAO...
May. 8th, 2009 02:15 pm (UTC)
Yeah, I'd prefer that to just silence Especially with email. I start wondering if he didn't get the email or something.'

May. 8th, 2009 01:14 pm (UTC)
he doesn't answer and you wander away. same difference, just different styles. Everyone has coping mechanisms that help keep them sane. I have to get it all out in the open so I can move on. Not so comfortable sometimes for the people in my life. It can be self serving too, especially when you know that it is going to cause collateral damage. In the end all you can do is say, "I'm here for you when you need me" and get busy living.
May. 8th, 2009 02:21 pm (UTC)
Usually I wander away not because I don't want to face something but because I want to do something new or familiar. But yeah, I like to tell people if there is a problem because if not things tend to fester and get worse.

May. 9th, 2009 04:13 pm (UTC)
I hate people not answering.
May. 11th, 2009 03:17 pm (UTC)
Especially when email is pretty much the only way to contact someone and they never answer their phone either.

( 12 comments — Leave a comment )