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What to do?

I've been searching through years worth of old photos and last night, I came across some rather interesting photos of a woman I dated back in 1995. Just some nude stuff we did one night while fooling around at my house. Nothing really exotic, just some magazine type erotic layouts. It occured to me she might have wondered or worried about where they are and whether they will surface in Penthouse or on the Web at some point. So I'm really wondering what to do with them now. I've posted the poll below to get your feedback. Before I get lots of hate mail telling me what a evil chauvanist pig I am, I'll tell you, I'm not really considering the three middle posibilities at all. I just wanted to see what people would say. And it brings up the point that I've got tons of nude photos of ex-wives and girlfriends around here that I need to make decisions on. I just have a hard time throwing photos away. Anyone else have this problem?

Answer away.



Poll #18672 Ex-Girlfriend Photos

What should I do with nude, slightly erotic color photos of an ex-girlfriend I found while sorting old photos?

Find the negatives and simply destroy them
9(52.9%)
Scan them first and send her prints and negatives
4(23.5%)
Scan them and send prints and negatives to her husband with the old line "Got any nude photos of your wife? You want some?"
1(5.9%)
Post them to one of the many nude ex-girlfriend sites on the net
0(0.0%)
Just send them to her without scanning them first
3(17.6%)



Wander

Comments

( 15 comments — Leave a comment )
sherahi
Feb. 7th, 2002 04:40 pm (UTC)
I guess I'm of the type where if the woman is stupid enough to let a guy keep photos like that of her, then they are partially to blame with whatever the outcome is. Kinda like if a woman is stupid enough to choose to get drunk, the consequences are partially her fault.

She left the photos with you for whatever reason and was a willing participant at the time... I ASSUME its because she/they trusted your judgement or you had an agreement about the future of those photos? Ie: personal use only? So... I think the answer is pretty clear myself.

(THERE ARE EX GIRLFRIEND NUDE WEBSITES OUT THERE?!?!? THAT IS SICK! Sorry, just my opinion... bleck.)
wander
Feb. 8th, 2002 07:11 am (UTC)
Re:
As I said, I really already knew what I was going to do with them. The reason the photos were taken in the first place was she and a couple other international students (she is Brazillian) wanted to make a nude or semi nude calendar to sell and raise money to help them pay tuition expenses. They asked me and another friend to be the photographers. So we ended up shooting three women. In the end, the calendar project fizzled. I wasn't even aware I still had the photos until the other day. I wonder if she has even thought about them.I imagine I'll just round up all the negatives and the photos and mail them to her. Then there will never be a question of embarrassing photos popping up years from now when she runs for dog catcher or what not.

And yes, those ex-mate, ex-SO websites do exist. I just can't see ever posting something like that. Can you imagine how much liability you would set yourself up for doing that?

Wander
moonvision
Feb. 7th, 2002 05:59 pm (UTC)
She probably forgot about them and would be better off not knowing/reminded of them. Personally, I would either store them safely away or simply destroy them.
wander
Feb. 8th, 2002 07:18 am (UTC)
Re:
Well, the purpose of going through the photos in the first place was to try and come to some kind of decision about how to organize things. I have some of my ex-wife that I took for a photography calss in undergrad school. When we split up, I asked her if she wanted them back and she told me to keep them because I might need them for my portfolio. I still use those from time to time. But the ones in question, this woman and I never had any sort of agreement on. Some of them are good enough to say post in Erotic Visions but then again, I don't really have permission to do so. Storing them really does me no good because i can't use them for anything. So destroying them might be the answer.

W
cuddles
Feb. 7th, 2002 06:58 pm (UTC)
Tell ya what.
Ok I'm gonna be a super nice guy here. Send ME the pics, I'll track her down, deliver em, explain everything. I'll use my Cuddles tact so to speak.

Later

Cuddles(just trying to help)
devilmiyu
Feb. 8th, 2002 12:37 am (UTC)
Dearest Wander,
I too, have a hard time throwing photos away. In fact, I don't remember throwing away any kind of photograph simply because of this....

I think that pictures are just like memories. You just can't simply throw them away. I have stacks upon stacks of photo albums with ticket stubs and receipts even napkins from restaurants or bars. I still have my brothers matchbook, cocktail napkin and bottle cap right next to his picture in my photo album, the photo was taken when he turned 21. That's just me though, and yes, I'm a sentimental packrat.

As for the erotic/seductive pictures. I'd say keep 'em. She gave you consent to take 'em, so you shouldn't feel bad about having them. Sometimes people are afraid that the things they did in the past might catch up to them or come back to haunt them. *shrug* Live and let live. I'm sure it was all in good fun. I guess as long as you keep them safe and keep it to yourself, I don't see any harm in keeping a few erotic mementos from your past.

Take care and be safe dearest one. Be well.

~Anna
wander
Feb. 8th, 2002 07:25 am (UTC)
Re:
Thanks fellow packrat. You described exactly the huge pile of sentiment in my living room. Actually, there is a seperate pile of nude photos from the otehr piles and it's getting pretty damn large as well. I suppose I could just make an album of all of them. They are worth remembering, at least the circumstances surrounding them. You didn't call me a couple weekends back did you?

Thanks and hugs,

Wander
devilmiyu
Feb. 8th, 2002 03:21 pm (UTC)
Oh no, I didn't call you. As a matter of fact (hesistantly admits) I lost your phone number and I would like to call you from time to time.

Hey, I think that's a good idea, put all the nude and semi-nude and other "erotic" photos in a separate album for keepsakes.

*hug* Best wishes dear friend. Have a nice weekend!

~Anna
wander
Feb. 8th, 2002 03:24 pm (UTC)
Re:
work 800-447-0682 ext 3262

farm 217-322-2128

No problem.
W
johnthetiger
Feb. 8th, 2002 01:07 am (UTC)
If you really think she wants them back or would feel better if she had them, send them to her! But... since you don't like throwing photos away, scan them just to make sure you have a copy. Not in your "x girlfriend porn" folder, just on some zip disk somewhere so you know they weren't destroyed (there is a chance she'd just rip them up or something.)
wander
Feb. 8th, 2002 07:28 am (UTC)
Re:
If I were realy vindictive, I'd send them to her husband seeing as the reason she dumped me was to go live with him. Whole big complicated story to that one plus I ended up with broken ribs helping her move in with him and then she dumped me the next day to go out with him. But I've been past that for a long time and I'm not really the vindictive sort.

Thanks for the suggestion.

Wander
jehosephat
Feb. 8th, 2002 06:03 am (UTC)
Wow, that's a tough decision. If you're still on speaking terms, ask her what she would like. If not, then do what you will (I voted for scanning and then sending them or destroying them).
wander
Feb. 8th, 2002 07:34 am (UTC)
Re:
Last I knew, we were on speaking terms enough to insult each other. Funny, but the break-up wasn't all that bad. We had a class together after that and I think she got kinda mad that I wasn't a pool of tears over the whole mess. She was overjoyed one day when my truck engine blew up and I couldn't make it to class. Then she would come up to me and be fishing for compliments like "I just got my hair done, how do you like it?" and I'd say "It's great but haven't you gained a little weight?" or "Are those crows feet around your eyes?"

She was always pretty vain about her looks and those things would just send her running away. At her wedding, the presents she gave to her bridesmaids were pieces of jewelry I'd made and given to her when we were together. Talk about tacky.

I think I may end up just sending them to her and let her deal with them.

Wander
violinchick
Feb. 8th, 2002 08:03 am (UTC)
I don't think I'd throw them away or give them back. Just store them (if you still want to have them to look at and reminisce once in awhile) or destroy them if you'd rather not.
wander
Feb. 8th, 2002 08:14 am (UTC)
Re:
Unfortunately, the reason I found them again in the first place was they had been stored in a big crate that was taking up space in my studio. I've made a resolution to either put everything in albums or throw it away. I think I'll just be keeping a few of the non-nude photos of her to document where I was and who I was with at a certain time of my life. I really can't forsee a time when I would take the nude photos out and reminisce about them. They've reached a point in time where I need to figure out what to do with them once and for all.

Wander
( 15 comments — Leave a comment )